I know what you’re thinking, how can I be empowered to attract my dream relationship if all I seem to date is losers and people who just want to leave me behind and break my heart. I get where you’re coming from, and if this is you, keep reading because I’m about to rock your world, baby! You are about to become empowered to attract your dream relationship. I was you (several times over actually), up until 4 years ago.
Well another beautiful case of heartbreak, only this time I was totally cracked open. Everything seemed to have come to the surface this time around. I don’t want to compare damaged pieces here but I do want you to know how bad it got… Two weeks after my partner and I had the chat about wanting to marry each other I get an out of the blue “I don’t love you anymore” 3 days before Christmas. To say that I was shocked and devastated was an UNDERSTATEMENT!
What follows this series of events changed my life.
I literally lost 25 lbs in one month, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I had severe panic attacks, and all I could do was cry. Everywhere I showed up, I showed up like this wounded bird. The moment I hear the words “I just don’t love you anymore”, I thought my world was over.
Little did I know, my world was being cracked open to receiving more, but I had to be willing to go deeper. You see, when a heart breaks, we think it breaks into pieces, but the reality is that it breaks open so that we can allow more love into our lives. It breaks open so that we can experience bigger things, so that we don’t restrict ourselves as much.
It was a huge eye opener when I realized that these guys were all a mirror image of me.
I mean, they were co-dependent and emotionally unavailable, not me!!
It wasn’t until I stopped pointing the finger and started really owning my own truth did I see that I was just as co-dependent and emotionally unavailable!
That was a hard one to swallow because it was so much easier showing up as a victim and talking about how much these guys were the cause of all my pain. Truth is, we are all the cause of our own pain.
We choose to stay in a relationship that is unhealthy, we choose to make ourselves believe that eventually things will change, we choose to lower our standards and believe the stories we tell ourselves to stay stuck.
Trust me, “I love him”, is not good enough and doesn’t fly for me or my clients today!
I quickly realized that I was showing up like a Becky, but I wanted to be treated like Jane.
Man, did I have a lot of learning to do.
If I wanted a man to treat me like Jane, I needed to start acting like one!
I didn’t realize the amount of “going deeper” and healing I had to do to get to that point.
So deeper I went, because going back to the experiencing heartbreak, was no longer an option.
I made the decision to figure out what was really going on inside of me and what was the root cause of why I kept coming to the same conclusion. I decided I was no longer allowing other people to write the end of my book, let alone my chapters!
Life is so much better as a Jane, and I am grateful I decided to do the work to be able to find my happily ever after.